Simon Macbeth, Leeds – Free At Last Part 3 of 5

Simon Macbeth never heard of or spoke to Ella again. For many years afterwards she was someone I thought about a lot. If I’d pulled out all the stops, I’m sure I could have got back in touch with Ella, but I never did.

Ella was everything I was looking for in a girl. She was the perfect fit. She was always somebody I compared future girlfriends against, which wasn’t particularly fair to them or me. I’d spent two weeks in her company and couldn’t get her out of my mind. It was unfair on the girls to come that I put Ella up their on a pedestal and her memory got shinier as time past. In my head, Ella was truly perfect for me.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with anyone. Ella has been on that pedestal, so high up no one can ever reach her. No matter who I get involved with in my life, no other girl could knock her down, simply because I’d spent years building Ella up so high in my mind.

Ella was 23 old then and she’ll be a 35-year old woman now. I know I’m now 30, but there’s just no way I’d get involved with someone who was that old. The girls that I generally find attractive are around the age Ella was when I was at Butlin’s with her. Maybe that’s just coincidence.

It was a funny thought to imagine her being that age. You meet people all the way through your life and remember them as they were the last time you saw them. You don’t consider that people have their own lives away from you and grow up and change as people while you’re not with them. I often think of what might have happened with Ella and me if I’d gone back to Butlin’s in February and we’d started up where we’d left off. She might not have wanted to know me, we might have gone out for a while and then everything fizzled out, or we might be married with 10 kids. Who knows?

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